There is a joke that a white man came to Ghana for a research that Ghanaians answer questions with questions. This man met an attendant at the airport and the lady was nice to him and so in a conversation the man asked, “I hear in Ghana people answer questions with questions, is it true?”, then the women answered, “Who told you that?” That was the end of the research; he got the answer to everything he wanted to know, how interesting!
My curiosity today is about what women want and I guess my answer to this question is also going to be “what do men also want?” Women are described as nagging wives, troublemakers, descendants of Eve; some even call us “woe unto men” and all sort of atrocious names. I wonder why men who call us by these names continue to chase after us. It is just like chasing after trouble and more trouble if you describe us like this. I have a friend who when asked how life is, responds like, “it is difficult like women” and this brings me to my other question: how difficult are we?
I have met men in life and have had the opportunity to have a lengthy chat with most of them and I can conclude that about 95% of them would want a woman who is caring, honest, truthful, respectful and loving for a wife. They would also go in for someone who is a good cook, someone who can manage the home and take care of the kids and most importantly, a woman who does not complain, in other words, a woman who does not nag.
Now, let me move on to what women also need in men: care, affection, love, honesty, truthfulness, God – fearing, and most importantly, attention. This attention women need does include being at our beck and call, telling us what we want to hear (not necessarily lying to us), massaging our feet, remembering birthdays, anniversaries and thanksgivings and watching us sleep (I know this may sound weird to some people). Women also want men who would not cheat on them, that is to say a man who is going to stick to them alone and not have mistresses nor flirt around. A woman needs a man who will put her on a pedestal.
Ok! So let’s make some comparisons here; both parties need loving, caring, truthful and honest partners. They also need a partner who is going to accept them and respect them for who they are but there is a big difference here that men don’t like nagging wives but women also love to hear everything so we ask and if you don’t answer, we try to force it out from you, period!
Most men say they would want a sexy woman, a woman who is good outside but “wild” in bed for a wife, so why would these same men go outside to have “fun” with little girls? Is it because you are used to your wives and that you would want to taste other “apples” or your partners’ activities are not up to task? I believe in one thing, if you see a lady or a gentleman in town and you think you like them or you admire them, just take your time to figure out what you actually see in that person that makes you get attracted to them and try to get those qualities in your partner and stick to them.
Another interesting issue that always pops up in a relationship is truthfulness and yes, honesty! A man needs a woman who is going to tell him the truth no matter how it may hurt him. I always say the truth is a very bitter pill but it has to be swallowed eventually. A woman would also want to know everything about the man she is seeing. What annoys us sometimes is when you tell us you have three ex-girlfriends and you introduce us to five of them. Some men are fond of telling “half stories”, they don’t really tell you everything about them, what they have done or what they have been through till you get to find out yourself. Well, I don’t blame them sometimes; after all, what we don’t know or see won’t hurt us. Maybe they love us so much that they would not want to hurt our feelings, who knows? The point line is men want truthful and honest women; women want the same in men so why would men lie to women and cheat on them?
Most men promise to give their partners the attention they need when they begin a relationship (what I call the fresh love). They also promise to give their ladies everything they need so why aren’t the boxes of chocolates and the bouquet of flowers coming after marriage? Remember, the women are still cooking your favourite meals and organizing the candlelit dinner just to make you happy.
Women want men to be candid, men also want women to tell them how they feel so why do men keep beating about the bush and when women tend to ask a lot of questions, they say women talk too much and that they are naggers? In fact, women demand answers. When a woman talks, she talks too much. When she keeps quiet, she is boring and you keep asking what is wrong with her. What at all do men want from women?
A lady would go to the salon to fix a nice hairstyle to please her partner and the man may complain that she is too artificial; she puts on wigs, artificial nails and make-up. If the women decides to go the natural way, he complains that his wife is too plain and that she needs to “up her game”, really?
We try to associate with your business partners and friends and you say we are indulging in your affairs, but if we don’t, you complain that we don’t care or take interest in what you do and the friends you make.
I know for sure there is a reason for our behaviours but I think men should sometimes consider the feelings of women and try to make them happy. Women on the other hand, should also be submissive to their husbands or partners; they should respect them and also learn to put them on a pedestal. In the nutshell, we all have to remember the golden rule: do unto others what you want others to do unto you!
A little advice; let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave – Martin Luther.
