He who throws pellets.....

I quite remember a book we used to read in the literature class back in the day. The book, “The gods are not to blame “by Ola Rotimi was one of the best literature books of our time. What I really loved most were the typical Nigerian proverbs that really got you thinking; I must say I love African wise sayings. Well, what happened this weekend reminded me of a particular proverb in the book; “he who throws pellets at one asks for rocks in return”.

A friend visited me after Sunday service and told me he had just broken up with his girlfriend. “What the heck?” was the first sentence I could utter. How could this be possible when these lovely couple visited me just a day before and we had a lovely chat about their future plans and of course the family they would love to raise someday. Initially, I thought my buddy was just kidding but after listening to his reasons for making that decision, I noticed I had a friend who could endure. This was a guy whose girlfriend could make him experience “fire and flavor”, that is, fire indoors and flavor in public but this guy would never complain to anyone and would always pray that things will change. He was being accommodating and hoping things would change but the lady kept messing up. The lady was throwing pellets at this young man till he couldn’t take it any longer and so had to return the pellets with rocks! I bet the lady never saw this coming, of course they may have argued a couple of times or may have experienced some silence treatments from this fine gentleman but I strongly believe the “it’s over’ phrase was never part of her plans for her relationship. From my encounter with her at some point in time, I could deduce that she thought the guy could never leave her so she rather used to treat the guy of leaving him. I bet this girl never saw this coming!

After trying for hours to influence my friend to reconsider his decision, I gave up on that when he let me know that he had lost the love he had for the lady in his heart a long time ago but rather advised him to follow his heart since he knew what he was going through. I woke up on Monday morning to see his calls I had missed at 2:45am. I immediately called him only for him to tell me that the girl threatened to commit suicide that night and that was why he kept calling but I didn’t answer. OMG! So it had gotten to that stage where there was even attempted suicide! Ah, but I thought she was that brave girl who would never cry over a guy. Hmm, what a funny world we live in!

There is a popular saying that “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” Many people have lost loved ones because of an attitude or behavior they showed them and now getting them back is difficult. We sometimes act on our emotions so much that we don’t even take a moment to think about how the other person feels and the pride in us also makes it hard for us to apologize. Truth is, most people don’t know how to express their feelings especially when the ones they love hurt them so they just keep “piling” up the mistakes till they can’t take it anymore and that is when they explode when you least expect that from them.  Accord people with respect and always remember the golden rule: do unto others what you want to be done unto you. Cherish relationships and be a shoulder for someone to cry on and not a “shunner” for someone to cry about. The last thing I would want to hear is for someone to tell me “it’s too late to apologize.” No way!

 Always remember to be nice to people on your way up, because you’ll meet them on your way down - Wilson Mizner.